Of Fathers and Philanthropy

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Creativity swirling around in my mind definitely comes from my dad. He’s imaginative, hilarious, an unconventional thinker and a constant writer. Even though our being too much alike predictably results in occasional friction, our conflicts never eclipse our respect, pride and love for each other.

My father’s philanthropic spirit has been a substantial force in my life, too. For as long as I can remember, he has shown profound compassion for people experiencing struggles. I suppose then it makes perfect sense that his background is in social work and that much of his employment and community service have focused on enhancing the lives of the mentally ill, the developmentally challenged and the marginalized.

During the entirety of his life and mine as well, Daddy has served in the church and for community causes. He was active in the Jaycees before I entered kindergarten, and some of my earliest memories are of the family taking part in his community service projects and fundraising events. Throughout my school days, he served on the school board and even led it as board chair. As little kids, Diatra and I helped with his campaigns each time an election rolled around. Daddy later became a trustee at the community college and eventually president of the National Association of Community College Trustees. He has always loved community service and in each instance poured himself and his resources into it and brought along his family on every pursuit into philanthropy.

In his retirement, Daddy remains active on nonprofit committees and still supports education by leading his local NC Central University alumni chapter. He volunteers so frequently, it’s often hard for me to keep up.

Daddy’s imprint on me is undeniable and quite obvious to people who know us both. My book Giving Back reflects the creativity he passed on and then nurtured within me. The book’s focus on philanthropy is the result of beliefs bequeathed to him and then handed down to his daughters. In recognition of philanthropic fathers everywhere and the power they possess to change the world through their children and generations yet unborn, below are excerpts from Giving Back about or from fathers and grandfathers. — VF

“Treat giving like tithes and getting your hair done.”

Daryl Parham (portrait with one of his three daughters shown right)

“I never consciously associated Granddaddy’s life with one of a philanthropist…I just thought that was who Granddaddy was. But, now I get it.”

Marcus Littles

“I have always admired how he overcame obstacles to blaze trails in business and eventually become the Raleigh region’s first African American owner and operator of McDonald’s franchises. While my father made an indelible mark in business, his servant spirit in giving defines his legacy.”

Reggie Pretty (shown left)

“My father is a deacon and he believes in taking care of the elderly and the widows. My father did shift work. I can remember him getting off graveyard, coming home to eat breakfast, and then, he and I would go out into the community.”

Lyord Watson, Jr.

“I feel obligated to give regularly like I am paying my monthly bills.”

James Mitchell (my late grandfather, shown right)

“My father modeled giving. His generous spirit touched everyone he met. And I came to realize that giving begins with belief – belief that the smallest gift can make a difference; believe that everyone is worthy of a chance and that each of us can provide that opportunity.”

Ruthye Cureton Cooley

“‘Give a youth a chance’ is almost a cliché, but as Dad’s mantra it is so much more than that.”

Lisa Crawford (her father John Crawford is shown left)

“Monetary wealth was not found in our family, yet Mama earned a reputation for being a generous woman who loved her family deeply, served her church devoutly and gave to all freely.”

Allen Fullwood

Rebuilding Our Communities, Inside Out

“The messages in your book and the work of the Community Investment Network are critical today. Local African American donors and others are replicating the early investments that our ancestors made in building the United States. 21st century technological innovations and the resulting economic shifts obligate us to rebuild our communities from the inside out. We must all invest in places where we live, work and worship—the places that we love.

“Thank you for reminding each of us that strong democratic communities require all to give time, talent and money. Our families, institutions and communities are depending on us.”

— Linetta J. Gilbert, co-leader of The Declaration Initiative and longstanding CIN supporter, in response to my recent interview on The Tavis Smiley Show about Black philanthropy and Giving Back.

Charles W. Thomas Jr., photographer

‘Power Without Love’

Mr. Wallace Pruitt of Seversville | Photography by Charles W. Thomas Jr.

“Power without love is reckless and abusive, and love without power is sentimental and anemic. Power at its best is love implementing the demands of justice, and justice at its best is power correcting everything that stands against love.” — Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

Another exquisite truth from yesterday’s NCNG luncheon keynote by Martin Eakes of Self-Help, paired with a portrait from Giving Back. — VF

For Lovers of Humanity


Charles W. Thomas Jr., photographer

A loving heart is the truest wisdom. — Charles Dickens

Giving Back reframes portraits of philanthropy, while reclaiming its root meaning: love of humanity. Put simply, each page pictures love.

Wishing “lovers of humanity” everywhere a Happy Valentine’s Day! — VF

The Best Luck

Charles W. Thomas, photographer

The best luck I’ve ever experienced in life is my beautiful mother. Continue having a Happy Birthday Week, Momma! 

“I remember my mother’s prayers and they have always followed me. They have clung to me all my life.” — Abraham Lincoln

 

A Good Man in Asheboro

Charles W. Thomas Jr., photographer

A year ago today, my grandfather James Mitchell departed this earth after eighty-six years of a beautiful life. I had the fortune of being with him in Asheboro when he passed on and, earlier, to have collected his story and portrait for the book Giving Back.

To commemorate his passing, today I’m sharing the tribute that I prepared with my sister and presented at his funeral.

Below is the tribute:

I’ve read ‘a good man is not a perfect man…but rather a good man is an honest man, and one who is faithful to God and doesn’t hesitate in responding to the voice of God in his life.’

And my grandfather, James Mitchell, was a good man. When I was a little girl I was convinced he was a rich man…in fact, the richest man around. Whenever I got a glimpse of him peeling off bills from a wad of money to pay for gas or groceries or candy for Diatra and me. I was convinced he was a millionaire. Who knows, looking back it could have been wads of one-dollar bills.

In any case, the good man that he was, he left us millions of beautiful memories and lessons about living a good life.

Diatra and I were talking the other night and we were flooded with the sweetest memories of Granddaddy. They ranged from the BB Walker shoes he bought us when we were little girls and that we proudly sported at church and school to the BB King concerts we attended together because he was Granddaddy’s favorite musician.

Our memories are plentiful and include…

The smell of Cashmere Bouquet soap in motel rooms on our family vacations to Atlantic Beach, where Granddaddy would swing us into the ocean waves,

The sense of adventure in riding shotgun in H-5—the big transfer truck he drove for decades at Harrelson Tire Company,

The charmed life we lived during our summers in Asheboro with Granddaddy chauffeuring us around town in one of his many faithful and well-waxed Oldsmobiles or in the back of his Ford pick-up truck. Diatra was particularly fond of stops at the Quik Pik convenience store where he bought her stashes of assorted Now & Later candies.

We remember…

Playing in the front yard, and in yards up and down Franks Street, in the summertime while Granddaddy sat watch from the front porch with a Mason jar of ice-cold water nearby.

We remember…

Music filling our grandparents’ house as he played his jams from his beloved record collection.

And when we were really little, his teaching each of us to dance while standing on the tops of his gigantic shoes.

We remember…

Sitting at the kitchen table studying maps and atlases as we “helped” Granddaddy prepare to hit the road for Harrelson. We were really good students too and years later flipped the script and had him getting out maps to find where in the world we were flying off to next.

We remember a really good man who shaped so much about who are today.

A passage from Ralph Waldo Emerson expresses what Granddaddy’s legacy embodies:

‘To laugh often and much. To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of one’s critics and endure the betrayal of false friends.

‘To appreciate beauty, to find the best in others, to leave the world a bit better, whether a healthy child, a redeemed social condition, or a job well done. To know even one other life has breathed easier because you live. This is to have succeeded.’

James Mitchell, we will forever love and remember you well.

— VF